One day at a time
by a twinkle in the night sky
Summary: What would you do if you loved someone, but never got to say goodbye when they leave you forever? What would you do if you felt responsible for what happened and you never got to say sorry?


ONE DAY AT A TIME  
  
Goku sat on the edge of his large bed, staring out the cold glass to the world outside. The golden stars twinkled down upon the familiar capsule house, sitting peacefully in the centre of the hilly country, their gentle glow dancing in the dark night sky.  
  
The saiyan looked over at his wives side of the bed. It had been vacate for the last week, her absence clearly noticeable, for everything seemed so deathly clean; so empty. But nothing compared to the old saiyan's heart. His dark eyes watered as he let his head fall into his hands. The unbearable pain of her absence was undoubtedly written over his handsome features.  
  
"I could have changed things," he whispered quietly as he glanced over at a small framed photograph which sat on his wives bedside table. "She didn't have to go the way she did."  
  
Goku's rough hand trembled as he looked intentively over the small portrait. It had been taken straight after he had told Chichi that he was home to stay. No more training, no more fighting, and more importantly, no more death.  
  
A meek smile slowly appeared on his face as he remembered the gleeful and happy smiles of his family.  
  
His eldest son Gohan stood proudly at his side. The demi saiyan was a man now. He was no longer the small, mischeivious little boy he had left behind seven years ago, he was an adult. A smart, charming young man who seemed to wow everybody with his stunning good looks and charitable attitude. Goku bit his lip as he realised that those traits had been enhanced through his mother's influence. She had transformed him into the man that he never could. If Gohan had continued to follow under his father's motivates and ideals, the young peace-loving boy would have been turned into a barbaric little soldier, willing to sacrific everything he had for the sake of a battle, just as he was. No, that's not the way Gohan's life should and ever will be. He deserved peace, he had earnt it along time ago when he fought Cell.  
  
Along side Chichi sat Goten, the little 7 year old he had neglected for so long. Goku gently smiled as he remembered the wonderful and most passionate night he had ever had. The night before the Cell games, it was just him and his wife. It was a night to reflect upon, a night to strengthen their ever lasting bond, a night which reminded him what he was really fighting for. And now, from that unforgetable night, a new life had been conceived. The life of his youngest child. His blood. His son. He never knew that Chichi was pregnant, he only realised that he was a father again when he came to the World Championships. It was unbelieviable. In a way, he felt as if he had been given a second chance at fatherhood, a chance to become the father he knew he should have been. Goten was a handsome boy. He had nearly choked when he first noticed the resemblance he and his son were sharing. The same eyes, the same hair and the same cheeky smile. Just as she had done with Gohan when he was a boy, Chichi constantly doted over her little boy, regularly remarking about how handsome he was and how strong he was. A sense of pride washed over him when he remembered what Chichi had told him. Their son was the youngest ever super saiyan. Both he and Chichi knew that it could be both a burden and a gift, but the way that she and Gohan had trained the youngester, it seemed that the raven haired princess now considered it a gift.  
  
Then, there was the love of his life. Chichi. She had been so happy that day, he could tell by just looking at her. The way she laughed when she ran to him, the tenderness in her hug, and the passion in her kiss. He could tell that she was overwhelmed to see him again, just as he was to see her. He noticed the silent pain in her eyes as he told her that he was never going to leave her ever again. Goku knew that he had caused her a lot of pain throughout the 18 years of their marriage. He had bearly been there for probably 8 years, that meant nearly ten years of slow, lonely days and nights. When he should of been there, he wasn't. Whenever she needed him to hold her hand or comfort her, he was always absent. Yet, throughout everything he had put her through, she had remained at his side. Everytime he left, she never abandoned him or remarried. She never left him for own happiness, which Goku was so sure she could find. She always stayed at home for him. She cooked his food, washed his clothes, practically raised his two sons, giving up everything she had to make him happy. She had given up the life of adventure and fun, to become the stable foundation for their family. Not many women would give up so much for a husband who constantly leaves them. He was one hell of a lucky man.  
  
But now, 2 months later, she was gone forever. She wasn't coming home. No more mother for his sons, no more house wife to cook his food and wash his clothes, but more importantly to the ageing saiyan, no more warm gentle arms to cuddle him at night and reassure him that they were together forever.  
  
Although, all his friends had reassured him that he shouldn't, Goku felt guilty. He had noticed that Chichi wasn't well. He had heard her constant coughing and vomiting from the bathroom. He had seen her pale face and her attemps to keep up with her usual daily chores. The way she needed to rest more throughout the day and her unwillingness to go out.  
  
Yet, he simply dismissed it as a cold, though in the back of his mind he knew that he shouldn't dismiss something as simple as a cold as nothing serious. Goku shuddered as he remembered the unexplainable pain he had felt when he had come down with the heart virus which nearly took his life several years ago. Chichi was there for him then too. She had noticed his illness, and immediately went to work. She was by his side constantly, keeping him cool, giving him medicine, keeping their son hopeful for his quick recovery and reassuring Goku himself that things were going to get better. Goku sighed as he tried to think of what would have happened if Chichi wasn't there.  
  
Goku tried to block those thoughts as he changed into his boxers and hopped into his lonely bed. In the back of his conscience mind he hoped that Chichi would be waiting for him, with a warm embrace. He was slightly surprised when he was let down, although this had been the same motion for the past week. As he turned off the light, he rested his two hands behind his head and allowed himself to think back to that day where his whole life had fallen down on him.....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Goku...do you want to ummmm...you know, tonight?" Chichi was propped up on her elbow watching her dozing husband, who was lying on his side of the bed.  
  
"Chi, I don't feel like it tonight. I've had a long day, and I really want to sleep," Goku sighed, rolling over so that she was facing his back.  
  
"Oh...okay," he heard her mutter. There was a hint of sadness in her voice, and Goku noticed this.  
  
He turned around when he noticed that the bed wasn't shifting for Chichi to return to her normal sleeping position. Chichi was staring at her husband, but when he turned around, she quickly fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
"Why Chichi? Do you really want to?" He asked placing his full attention upon the petite figure beside him in the darkness. Chichi took in a deep breath and Goku heard her stutter with her breath. Chichi didn't even bother looking at her husband as she turned over, her back now facing him.  
  
"If you want to. B-but you're tired, so you'd better sleep. S-see you in the morning," Chichi mumbled miserably as silent tears melted from her eyes. They increased as she felt her husband sink back into his normal position upon the bed. He didn't even bother kiss her goodnight, or even say it as he yawned loudly.  
  
"Yeah, I am a bit wiped out. Maybe some other time, okay?" Chichi nodded slowly as Goku drifted off to sleep. Pretty soon, only Goku's gentle snores filled the night air.  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"But there wouldn't be another time now, would there Chichi?" The saiyan slammed his hand down upon the bed as he remembered his final words to her that night. Anger filled his head as he immediately began regretting denying her that night. Tears that he had been holding back throughout the whole memory suddenly began flowing effortlessly from his shimmering eyes, with the saiyan not even trying to hold them back.  
  
"Why," he muttered miserably to himself. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick, that you were going to die the next day?" The tears increased as he cuddled up to his pillow.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Morning, sweetheart," Chichi muttered playfully, cuddling up against her husbands chest. Goku smiled sleepily at his wife and kissed the top of her head.  
  
"Morning beautiful," he replied looking down at her face. There was something strange about her, but he couldn't think what. The beautiful ex- warrior grinned at her husband, ignoring the slight coughing which came from her body. Since Chichi ignored it, Goku did so as well.  
  
"Do you remember what today is?" Chichi asked, shifting as so that her head was slightly resting upon her husbands chest. Goku looked quizzingly at her as he stroked her hair with one hand, the other propping his head up upon the silk pillow.  
  
"No," Goku muttered looking down at the intentive face of his wife. "Why, is it something important?"  
  
Chichi's broad grin slowly disappeared as she realised that her husband was being quite serious. A hurtful pout appeared over her beautiful face, her shoulders sagging in disappointment. She took in a deep breath as she released herself from his warm embrace as Goku watched in curiosity. As sleek as a cat, she slipped from the large bed and out towards the bathroom. Her husband was watching her the whole way, all the time trying to figure out what had just happened.  
  
"Chichi? Hey, what is it? Did I say something wrong?" Questions stumbled from his mouth as propped himself up upon his elbows, watching as his wife darted into the bathroom. "Oh well," he shrugged his shoulders carelessly, "I'll just find out what today is later. She'll tell me what's so important after."  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"God, how could I be so stupid," Goku cursed himself as he rubbed his weary eyes. All this time he had been fighting to fall asleep, but memories kept on coming back, gnawing deeper into his mind. He turned over in the bed, the sheets in the process, getting tangled with his legs. Looking out at the stars, he hoped that maybe just one of them was his beloved Chichi. Tears again began falling as he started to confess.  
  
"What kind of a husband have I been to you Chichi? Your birthday, the one day of which I'm supposed to make you feel like the most special woman on earth, I forget. I can't believe I let you down like that. You always remember mine, even when I was away, and yet I've been your husband for the last eighteen years and I can't even remember the date. I never got to tell you how special you are to me...I never got to show you how much I care," Goku looked out at the night sky, a small twinkle from the largest star made him smile slowly. The twinkle from the tiny star in the distance resembled that of the tear falling from his shimmering eyes...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Goku honey, could you please go to town and get these grocories for me?" Chichi asked her husband as he was about to speed out the door. The carefree adult turned around and looked over at his wife. She looked tired; drained. Her once olive skin was gently paling and her head was resting in the palms of her hands. Her once firey eyes were slowly dimming and red bloodshot streaks ran around her eyes.  
  
"Oh Chichi," Goku whimpered using his best 'puppy dog' expression, "I promised the boys I would meet them out at the woods today for some sparring time. Do I have to do it now?"  
  
"If you want to go without dinner tonight, that's your decision not mine," she muttered, rubbing her neck taking a sip of her glass of water.  
  
"Chichi, I would do it any other time. Why can't you just do it today, and I'll do it next time," Goku reopened the front door as Chichi let out an exhausted sigh. She was about to say something, but was cut off with the sound of Goku disappearing out the door...  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You shouldn't have done it Chichi," Goku muttered miserably as he sunk his head deeper into the pillow. "You were unwell. You knew it and I knew it. But I was stupid enough to think of it as nothing. I told you to go, you were about to say something, probably that you didn't feel well enough to go, but I ignored you. I ignored your needs and placed my own in front. My wife, the most important woman in my life, I rejected you, and look what happened, I payed the ultimate price..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Dad, did you see that kick? I was awesome, wasn't it?" Gohan laughed as his father nodded and grinned broadly. The three men walked into the house, Gohan, followed by his father then his little brother who was dragging the huge fish that he had caught.  
  
"Goten, you're getting a lot stronger, you know," Goku added as his youngest son dumped the fish at the front door and followed his father and brother in.  
  
"Thanks daddy. Hey, where's mommy? I wanna show her my fish. Do you think she'll like it, daddy?" The young boy looked up as his father and giggled as Goku ruffled his hair.  
  
"She'll love it," Goku reassured his son, as the child began running through the house calling out for his mother. Goku sat down at the dinner table and yawned as Gohan rumaged through the fridge. As he grabbed a soda and was closing the door he noticed a piece of paper with his father's name upon it. It was from his mother, claiming that she had left at three o'clock to grab some food from the nearby city, which was 15 minutes away. The young demi saiyan looked up at the wall clock. He frowned as he saw the clock read 6:30pm.  
  
"She should be home now," he muttered to himself as he walked over to the stair case. "Hey Goten," Gohan called out as he saw his little brother standing on the landing of the staircase. "Mom's gone to pick up some stuff for dinner, she'll be home soon."  
  
Goten nodded and flew down the stair case into his brother's open arms. He immediately jumped back out though when he heard the telephone ring. "I'll get it," he called out as he darted over to the receiver.  
  
Goku stood up as Goten handed him the cordless extension. Goku looked quizzingly at his son as Goten explained who was on the phone.  
  
"Daddy, it's the doctor. He says he wants to speak to you about something," Goku took the phone from his son and listened intentively to the voice on the other end. He hung up a couple seconds later, his sudden frowning facial expression earning him stares from his two sons.  
  
"The doctor says that he wants us to come to the hospital," Goku sputtered as he continued, "he says it's about Chichi..."  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Goku awoke with a start from his sleep. He began gasping for air as he looked over at the bedside table. He sighed as the digital clock read 2:15am. He fell back onto the bed and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead with his pajama sleeve. He sighed gently as his breathing began to even out and sleep consumed him once again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Where is she? Where is Chichi?" Goku sputtered as he burst through the hospital doors. Gohan followed close behind his father with Goten sleeping gently within his arms.  
  
"Dad, take it easy. Mom's okay," Gohan tried to reassure his father as the saiyan rushed over to the reception desk. Goku seemed to relax slightly with his son's words, and gently spoke to the nurse at the desk.  
  
"Hello, I'm Son Goku. I was called here by one of your doctors about an issue concerning my wife Chichi?" The nurse at reception slowly arose from her seat at her computer and pointed down the hallway.  
  
"Down there sir. Fifth door on the right," she stated calmly as Goku nodded his thanks. But before they were going to walk off in search of the doctor, the nurse added something. "Maybe your son's should wait out here. It's a very serious matter, and I don't think your little boy would be able to understand..."  
  
"Yes, your right," Goku stammered. The word 'serious' had caused his breath to catch in his throat and he looked over at his oldest son. "Gohan, I think you should wait out here. I'll be quick, I promise. Goten wouldn't be very at home in there and would probably want to stay out here. Just keep him company, okay?" Goku smiled as his eldest son was about to say something, but decided to keep his mouth shut and walked over to the couches in front of reception, with little Goten on his lap.  
  
With the knowledge that his son's would be okay, Goku headed down the corridor. When he finally came to the doctors door, he took in a deep breath and twisted the handle. Goku looked around the white room, his eyes finally settling upon a small man at his desk in the corner of the room. He was rather short, with a bold head, a stubblily beard and bottle end glasses. He immediately spun around when he heard Goku clearing his throat.  
  
"Ahhhh...Mr Son," he stood up from his seat and walked over to Goku, "my secretary just called me over the intercom and told me you were coming."  
  
"Yes," Goku replied, shaking the stubby man's hand. "Please doctor, you told me you needed to tell me something concerning my wife."  
  
The grin on the doctors face slowly faded as he nodded. "Yes, I do. Please Mr Son..."  
  
"Call me Goku," the saiyan interrupted quietly.  
  
"Yes, ummmm...Goku, please take a seat. I see you didn't bring your son's," he stated as he sat back down upon his doctor's chair, the reclining seat, straining under his weight.  
  
"Ummmm...yes I did. Their sitting out with reception, I told them that I would be back out as soon as possible," Goku replied as he took a seat across from the elderly man. The doctor removed his sephescope from around his neck as he nodded.  
  
"It's a good thing you didn't make them come in, they probably wouldn't want to hear this," Goku immediately sat up straight with the doctor's words.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Goku asked as the doctor's facial expression grew solomn.  
  
"Goku, your wife was on her way to Star City this afternoon, was she not?" Goku nodded slowly, his mind still no registering what was going on around him.  
  
"Yes, she was going to pick up some things from town," the doctor nodded as he wrote something down on a piece of paper on his desk.  
  
"Well sir, I'm really sorry to say that, your wife was involved in an accident on her way there," the doctor's voice suddenly became quiet. The saiyan in front of him suddenly gasped as his breath caught in his throat. Goku couldn't believe what he was hearing. He could feel the immense sadness in the old man's voice as he told him the heart breaking news.  
  
"What?" Goku sputtered as the old man tried to continue. Goku slummed to his knees as the doctor repeated himself, the news coming much more clearer as the words came in slow motion. Goku looked hopefully up at the doctor, who was beginning to get tears in his eyes. "I-is she alright...Is my Chichi alright?"  
  
"Sir...this is really hard for me to say. Mrs Son caused the accident," Goku's throat again became dry as the elderly man continued. "From the investigation, it seems that your wife was suffering from a virus which is a lot like a cold. It comes and goes whenever it feels, but it is mainly activated by stress."  
  
The doctor turned away from Goku to grab some tissues from his desk. Goku simply sat and stared at the doctor, his ears not believing what he was hearing. The doctor, once he had blown his nose a couple of times, knelt down beside the withering saiyan.  
  
"I'm sorry, my son," he whispered sadly. "She died at the wheel. Upon impact with the other vehcile, Mrs Son was already gone. I'm so so sorry..." The doctor gently patted Goku's back as the saiyan struggled with himself not to cry. His huge body shook with the news, he couldn't believe it. Not Chichi. It couldn't be Chichi. He looked up at the doctor who was grabbing the tissues from his desk. Without even making eye contact with the doctor, Goku knew that what he had just heard was the truth. Goku stared down on the floor in disbelief. The pain was unbelievable; uncontrollable. Then the words from that afternoon shot back to his head. He had told her to go. He had seen she was sick, but didn't even ask if she was okay. It was his fault. All his fault...  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Goku's eyes jerked open. He suddenly sat up in bed and looked around the lighted bedroom. It was morning. The bright yellow sun filtered gently through the window as Goku rubbed his weary eyes, helping to adjust them to the light.  
  
As he slipped out of his bed, he heard a gentle voice whisper in his ear.  
  
"Goku, please, don't blame yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault. I love you, and please tell our son's that I'm sorry for leaving them like this. Remind them as often as you can that I love them and I promise I will never leave the three of you alone. Never forget that Goku...."  
  
The saiyan jumped as he realised the familiarity of the voice. Chichi. 


End file.
